Post surgery

So, Monday the 9th was the big day! The day that I finally got my lower back work done. Dr Mark Eskander did an L3 to L5 fusion and an S1 to L3 laminectomy. From what I understand everything went well. I am on some pretty decent painkillers because I actually walked into the apartment with a walker with very little pain. I took my second dose of Tylenol and Tramadol about an hour ago because the wound was starting to bother me when I got up to use the bathroom. But all in all I still feel pretty good enough to even say that after next week I might very well be able to go back to work! I'm going to get up tomorrow and try to... Well it's already tomorrow so I guess I'm going to get up later today and see if I can drive to Walmart. I need a handheld shower head to give myself a proper cleaning and maybe a couple other things but that's the main thing. So I'm thanking God and all the prayer warriors that held me up because I did not expect to feel this good after 5 days post surgery I expected to be in major pain unable to move unable to do anything. I got in the house I was able to walk around without the walker! So God be praised Amen!

WAKANDA FOREVER!

So, yesterday evening Chadwick Boseman died at the age of 43 from colon cancer. It was reported that he had been battling it for four years while he made some of the most iconic movies of his career.

I can't even begin to express how heartbroken I am. Not just because this man who had dedicated his acting career to recreating the lives of so many African American, scratch that, BLACK heroes, has now exited stage left, but that it comes on the same day that we're celebrating the 57th anniversary of the March on Washington by Dr. King. All this during a time when so many hearts are already bleeding and bruised from the most recent killing of a young man who was trying to break up a fight, but because he was walking away from a so-called police officer, he was shot seven freaking times in the back?!?!?! I don't know how much more my poor heart can take?!?!

I guess I'm going to have to find out how much more my heart can take. The incident with Jacob Blake hurts even more because just a few days later a 17 year old white boy in Kenosha Wisconsin shot 3 people, killing two, then casually walked by with the gun in his hands past police officers, while people were screaming and pointing that he had just shot people?!?! He wasn't even detained, pulled over, paused, or questioned! He was allowed to go home to his family, from where he was PEACEFULLY ARRESTED THE NEXT DAY!?!????!!!

My heart is so battered and bruised right now from the litany of inequities perpetually allowed to rain on Black folk in this country that I honestly don't know how much more our people can take. This seems to be leading up to the explosion of a powder keg of such epic proportions, the fallout will be felt for generations, and I don't know if that's going to be a good thing. I would pray that the resulting reparations, however they are doled out, would help ease some of the generations of pain already endured, but no amount of reparations, in whatever form, will ever be able to soothe the amount of hurt and degradation and...

When we saw the depiction of a fictional world where an African nation was so far advanced that the other nations appeared "third world" in comparison, our hearts, minds and spirits were temporarily buoyed, if only for the time while we were in the theaters, drinking in the sweet nectar of a dream yet unfulfilled. When we saw the meek, humble, yet powerful and passionate imagery of an African King whose wise deployment of supremely advanced technology, and it's resulting abundance of wealth, our hearts soared at the thought of a wise and benevolent ruler whose skin color reflected our own.  But when we got to know the actors behind these pride-infusing depictions, we couldn't have been prouder to welcome them to the cookout.  

"Black Panther" was more than just a movie for more than just me. It was a gathering place for pride and being Black, and being part of the African diaspora. It was a show of strength, a quiet strength that has always been a part of our people. It was a time to laugh and enjoy what we already knew was so richly and deeply a part of the Black experience. For me, it was just another room at the already overwhelming African American Museum of History and Culture in DC, a place I had quickly come to call one of my favorite places.

I am still so shocked that the Marvel Omniverse put so much into the making of that movie. I know some have said that it was just part of their financial plan building up to the final Marvel superheroes movies, but somehow it seemed a little bit more than that...

Anyway, now that one of those famous heroes, and I don't mean the character, I actually mean the actor, Chadwick Boseman, has gone to join the likes of Stan Lee, John Lewis, Maya Angelou, that my heart weeps, and will probably weep for a while.  

There is no way any of us could have known the lifetime into which we would live and see the atrocities that have been played out in our streets. No way we could possibly have imagined that the institutions that were put in place to keep us safe are the very ones that are being used to pick us off...or could we? Maybe here is where my naivete really does kick in.  I don't know.

But while we wait as we watch this all play out, we can still let our minds wander back to that breathtaking scene when that African prince, with his most trusted warrior at his side, said, "This never gets old," as his flightcraft breached the cloaking shield of artificial forestry to view the splendor that was WAKANDA. https://youtu.be/r8nxdAGg2FY

The new face of lynching

I am in pain...my heart hurts so much I am in a constant state of nausea...

When Colin Kaepernick knelt, there was such an uproar.

Contrast that against the multiple times that white police officers have "knelt" on our Black men. An uproar can only be heard from other Black men and mothers of Black men. Sadly, not enough came from the white nation that raised the uproar about Kaepernick's kneeling.

I love my white friends. The picture below came from a white friend's page, giving voice to her own outrage at the situation. But there are not enough of her. I've heard too many excuses about "how it's going to look?" or "how am I going to be received?" or "I have an image to maintain." Put yourself in the shoes of the grieving mother who now has to bury another Black son, and stop caring so much more about your friggin' image than the life of a man!

Obviously, just the outraged brown voices are not enough, we need the voices of ALL races to make a difference. This is one of those instances when I agree that ALL LIVES MATTER! We need all lives on deck to sound off about this increase in the "hunting season." I'm sorry if this is harsh, but the face of the "officer" looks exactly like one of the faces in the mobs who were pictured with the hanging bodies of lynched victims. His expression is a barely veiled expression of pride in what he'd done, how he'd put down the "black buck."

The tears are streaming now because my heart has overflowed.

I can't...I just can't anymore...I have nothing left.

This is why Colin knelt...